Friday, 5 September 2014

T minus 1 – We have a main engine burn

I cannot say why a house needs to be cleaned before one goes on holiday. This seems to me to be futile but be that as it may I was put to work today and did the vacuuming. I didn't know much about vacuuming – I rather thought people came and did it. It gets worse: tomorrow has been set aside for “cleaning”. It was even suggested that I should iron my shirts “so I wouldn’t need to do them when I get back”. I soon scotched that one: ironing shirts is the sort of activity that takes the mind off jet lag.

There is little to say at T minus 1. Not much I have done today seems to have contributed to the Great 2014 UK Tour. So far as I can see you need a passport, toothbrush and some sort of pecuniary facility (a card, banknotes, whatever (or you could do the Burning Man (http://www.burningman.com) where all is bartered: but I think not)). There were a lot of parentheses in that last sentence.

I have now got the itinerary sorted out and it is tucked away in Google Drive formatted neatly and available on the iPhone. I now know what we are doing and will not get lost.
There will be many highlights but the following are those that I have selected:
  • Seeing my sister Ali: she is Queen of Sisters and was born the day before my seventh birthday. As a result my mother was incapacitated at the time of my party. My Father was, therefore, in charge. Had my sister not arrived when she did I would have been forever deprived of the experience of eating a green elephant meringue that was bigger than I was.
  • Robert the Bruce fought to make
    Scotland an independent nation.
    His friends called him Bob.
  • We will be in Edinburgh on the evening of the referendum for Scottish independence. Before the Act of Union (or perhaps prior to 1603 when James took over from Elizabeth I) the Scots made a bit of a pig’s ear of running their country. Part of me wants independence to get up just to see if they make another hash of it!!
  • I will see my Mother and Father. This will be exciting and I have especially for my Father a version of Pee Wee Russell tearing into Dark Town Strutters’ Ball. He will be able to name every musician who plays on it, what year it was recorded and where!! Here is Pee Wee at https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAGkN34xn9c).
  • I will be roaming the ‘hood in Jermyn Street and will call into several gentlemen’s emporia (that is the plural, I think, of emporium) including Turnbull and Asser (who dress the Prince of Wales) and Geo Trumper (who supply my shaving equipment and sponsor the Islington Boxing Club).
  • Dinner at ee-usk (http://www.eeusk.com) which is in Oban. The Huffington Post (http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/) just wrote that  “somewhere off the west coast of Scotland is a fishing trawler called the Crimson Arrow, and on the boat is a fisherman called Toastie. He brings his scallops into the harbour at Oban, and they are the best scallops in the world. How do I know? Because I've just eaten a plate of them, and the menu at Eeusk, which is by the harbour in Oban, credits Toastie as their supplier. They were the lightest, tenderest and sweetest scallops I've ever eaten…”. I will take a scallop with a glass of something white I think.
  • Whisky. We are doing a 3-day tour of some distilleries. The G does not like whisky so there will be more for me. I see from Dr Google that the word whisky is an Anglicisation of a Gaelic word meaning water!! Quite so.
  • Cheese. The English make good cheese. Better than the French. Dorset Blue Vinney is a traditional blue cheese made in Dorset. Known as DBV to my Father and me it is as succulent as cheese can get. I hope I find some.
I will also be spending lots of time with The G which is always fun as you never quite know what will happen next.

No comments:

Post a Comment