Day 25 - The hound is back - over and out: that's all folks!!

Well the holiday is officially over!! The hound returns today and The G is off to collect him. This hound is the killer dog that lives with us. Readers will know that I do not do dogs. The G, however, is keen on this brown effort that is usually found cluttering up the living room.

The Killer Hound. His name is Johnny P and he is the apple of The G's eye. But not mine - harumph!!

We took a nap for 2 hours yesterday, setting the timer on the phone to ensure we limited ourselves to 2 hours. Then we went to bed at our normal time. I slept like a log and awoke at 04:00 and had no idea where I was!! It's definitely springtime here at home now: it was getting light by 0500.

This has been a good holiday and not just because we came in under budget!! Yes, really. The G is a good manager. No doubt about it. She also wins the prize for best souvenir as illustrated in the picture below.

A kilted egg cup

The TVR's battery is run down (the alarm system seems to drain it) even though I was trickle charging it from a solar powered source. Maybe there was no sun!!  Once The G is back with the hound I'll jump start it and take it for a drive. I can't try to start the Rover until the TVR is moved. That one is 50 years old so it'll probably start straight away. Beautiful weather so we went to the Post Office topless in the 370Z.

The TVR (left) has  flat battery. I expect the 50 year old Rover (right) to start on the button!!

It was, of course, great to see my parents and to find them in good form. In many ways they look little different than I remember them as a child but, of course, they are changed. But for a pair of octogenarians they are pretty damn fit. The Old Man's hearing troubles him and he is a little forgetful (but who isn't?) but my Mother has all her faculties. The funniest bit was looking around the churchyard in Bruntingthorpe. My Mother reflected on this as "selecting a suitable plot". My parents are not without a sense of humour!!

We enjoyed Scotland and we would recommend Rabbie's tours (http://www.rabbies.com). The whisky tour group was much more fun as a group than the islands tour but both were very good. We had good guides and a small tour is definitely the way to go. Because I am a reader of history I was interested in Scotland's history. I learned more than I knew previously about the intersections of Scotland's and England's historical trajectories. I had known, of course, that one intersection was Mary Queen of Scots and her son James I (of England) and VI (of Scotland). What I hadn't appreciated was the continuing challenges caused by religious differences (and intolerance). 

James II (who was, of course James VII of Scotland) was effectively hounded from the throne at least in part because of his Catholicism. But I had not appreciated the consequences (rather than the fact) of the Jacobite rebellions in the late 17^th and into the 18^th centuries. All this means I am now reading A History Of Scotland by Neil Oliver.

And that's it. If anyone has read this far then well done!! It's been a challenge writing this thing - much harder than I thought. But I hope you have enjoyed it!!

Home, sweet home. Our lake is still there with the sea in the background

Looking back at the entry for T minus 1 I see that I set some criteria or objectives for the holiday. Did I achieve them?

• Seeing my sister Ali: I did indeed see my sister Ali but she was pretty wrapped up in the then forthcoming nuptials and we did not have the opportunity to have a good chat. I am delighted, however, that she is visiting us in March 2015. I am looking forward to that.
• Being there for the referendum: Well, democratic wisdom decided “no” to independence but not by a margin that I think it large enough for there not be another referendum within a decade. Next time it will go “yes”.
• Seeing my Mother and Father: I said that “I have especially for my Father a version of Pee Wee Russell tearing into Dark Town Strutters’ Ball. He will be able to name every musician who plays on it, what year it was recorded and where!!” True to form I played him the Pee Wee Russell track. He did not let me down. “That, “ he said “ is Artie Shaw on clarinet”. Weirdest thing with my parents was probably arriving at Blenheim Palace and getting four seniors concessions!!
• Jermyn Street: I found New & Lingwood and made some sartorial investments including a pair of outrageous plaid trousers!! I did not look into Turnbull and Asser (who dress the Prince of Wales) because I was already spent up. I did visit Geo Trumper for shaving equipment.
• Dinner at Ee-usk in Oban: I said “I will take a scallop with a glass of something white” and this I did. We had the freshest of fresh seafood in Scotland. But better than Ee-usk, for me, was the chippie on Oban’s George Street when I had battered hake, chips and mushy peas.
• Whisky: Well I came back with three bottles (Kilchoman, Ardbeg and Talisker). So that must have been good!!
• Cheese: I failed to find Dorset Blue Vinney but I did not stint myself. I note that G. K. Chesterton is supposed to have said that “Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese”. Indeed so.

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Day 24 - Endless night - or was it day?

There is little you can say about a flight between London Heathrow and Sydney. There are some who say that travel improves the mind. I say they are fools - they have probably travelled nowhere in any conveyance other than an armchair. I spent some years in the early part of the century as a globetrotter and with the frequent flyer points I was lucky to be upgraded to First Class on most occasions. Yes, it's really comfortable and you can sleep lying down. But you are no less knackered and jet-lagged at the end of the flight than you are when you have flown at the back of the bus. Though the food is better!!

Dinner on EK412 - looks like all those other airline meals you have ever had - tastes like them too!! You see the prawns at the top? The G didn't eat hers, When I asked why she said she never ate shellfish on planes. This worried me - here is a woman who has a lifetime of experience in catering and food preparation and she won't eat shellfish on a plane. Too late - I had eaten mine, fortunately I have lived to tell the tale!!

We were in Row 82!! Now you may say "hang on, isn't that sitting on the tailplane?" And, yes, it very nearly is but the last row is in fact 87. I have been in row 1 when I was doing the First Class thing!!

Various flight paraphernalia from the back of the bus. Fortunately I have Gold  frequent flyer status (due to the Emirates-Qantas tie-up) so we get in the lounge and we get the Fast Track thing through Immigration and Customs

I would say that Emirates is certainly my airline of choice. We would not now think of flying internationally with anyone else unless there were no choice. And the check-in chick at Heathrow was an absolute gem - just lovely and very helpful (the order of these qualities is important).

Emirates (www.emirates.com) are really good. Fly them if you can

We were flying Rex from Sydney to Moruya. Moruya (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moruya,_New_South_Wales) is the nearest town to us of any significance. The transfer was a pain and then we discovered that Rex (because it is a regional airline flying small planes) has a 15kg luggage limit (though it's 20kg if you're coming from an international flight (where the limit would have been 30kg)). We were hit for $38.50 excess baggage - a first for me; I have never paid excess baggage before. 

Then the check-in chick said that because the flight was full and the bags were "overweight" that they would be checked as standby. They might be off-loaded from the flight if there was a weight problem. If so they would come on the next available flight. It is small comfort to think that there are three flights a day on a weekday. The mathematician (or at least logician) reasoned that in theory these bags could never arrive if all the flights had a weight problem. As it happened they did arrive and our friend Robbo was there to greet us and take us home.

The terminal building at Moruya Inter-galactic Airport: The G third from left and Robbo on the right

A view of the aircraft that brought us and the terminal building

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Day 23 - The enigma of intelligence

Alan Turing

“Alan Turing: The enigma of intelligence” was a book by Andrew Hodges which, I am surprised to note, was published in 1985. I can’t believe I read it 30 years ago but I must have done. There are several shameful episodes in British history and I would not wish to rank them in order of shamefulness. If I did, however, I would have to rake the hounding of Alan Turing, eventually to his death, as up there with the most shameful.

Turing is sometimes referred to as the Father of Computing and it was at Bletchley Park where we went today where Turing worked on cracking the enigma code that the Germans used in the Second World War. He explored the concepts of “algorithms” and “computation” by using what is now called a “Turing machine”. This is a hypothetical device that manipulates symbols on a strip of tape according to explicit rules (we would call this a program today). Despite its simplicity, a Turing machine can be adapted to simulate the logic of any computer program.

Bletchley Park is near Milton Keynes which is a 25 minute drive from my parents. Milton Keynes was created in the 1906s when the government decided additional towns in the south-east of England were needed to relieve housing congestion in London. I remember the joke that there were concrete cows at MK (as it is sometimes known) because there were no real ones to be seen. Some overspill housing had been constructed in Bletchley in the 1950s which may have been why they put MK where it is.

Milton Keynes Station - we know what Dr Johnson might have said about this rail track and this is the track to the South!

Blethchley Park (www.bletchleypark.org.uk) was the heart of the British efforts (largely successful) to decipher German (and Italian) signals so that they could get a jump of the Germans. The story started before the War in August 1938 when ‘Captain Ridley's Shooting Party’ turned up at this Buckinghamshire country house to see if it would be suitable for intelligence activity.

The mansion at Bletchley Park

Google seems to have some sort of sponsorship or support deal with Bletchley Park but it is not very high profile. There is a running slideshow at the entrance which celebrates the fact that it was the diversity of people who worked at Bletchley that led to its success.

On the face of it looking around a bunch of old buildings that were used by a load of mathematicians, statisticians and other oddballs may not strike one as particularly interesting. For me, as a mathematician, I get the ideas behind deciphering. But for the non-mathematician … ? As it happened they have done a truly brilliant job of creating a set of displays and interactive screens that are entertaining and informative.

A BSA bike presumably from the late 1930s - I assume that some of our readers will identify it but I can't

A set of spare rotors for an enigma machine. The first machines had three rotors which gave  

159 x 10¹⁸ possible settings (that's 159 with 18 noughts after it). Later machines had four rotors which increased that number

Ten years to the day before I was born Churchill was asking to see all the decrypts in person. He must have given up on that one pretty quickly - he would have been swamped!!

Apart from the main house – which I recall housed the administrative types – there were constructed in the grounds a number of huts. Hut 8 was the hut where Turing worked and they had recreated his office.

Entering these huts one is faced with a long, dark and dingy corridor which is as it must have been – even down to what looked like (but cannot have been) period linoleum on the floor. There were doors leading off this corridor and each was a separate office. This was way before open plan offices of course.

The door to the great man's office

The great man is alleged to have chained his enamel tea mug to the radiator to prevent someone from nicking it. I don't low if this is true but it seems to me this would be the mark of a great eccentric or someone who was incredibly bright.

And inside, not surprisingly utilitarian 

Turing's famous paper (1936) is called "On computable numbers, with an application to the Entscheidingsproblem" (www.cs.virginia.edu/~robins/Turing_Paper_1936.pdf) and is readable with a little effort by anyone with undergraduate mathematics. The Entscheidungsproblem is about asking for an algorithm to decide whether a given statement is provable from a set of axioms axioms using the rules of logic. Turing showed in his paper - as an aside - that the Entscheidungsproblem has no solution. It's worth looking at The Rutherford Journal (www.rutherfordjournal.org/article030108.html) for a description of the computer (it was called the Bombe) that Turing and others developed to run deciphering algorithms.

And remember ... walls have ears!!

I think he got that about right ... which is why mathematics and the arts are so closely related. In my opinion mathematics is not a science, it is an art. 

Answers on a postage stamp, please!!

A message awaiting decryption. There were several of these "W/T red forms" on display. (W/T I think stands for wireless telegraphy.) Why at the bottom it says "Do Not Use Left Margin" I could not work out as none of them seemed to have anything in the left margin. You would assume someone might write something there after the form was processed, but we didn't see any examples

What happened to the Stationary Office? And what happened to quarto exercise books? We will never know.

We had not realised just how much there was to see but unfortunately we were short of time as today we are flying back. For anyone who wants a full day’s activity this would be a place to visit.

We lunched with my parents. I had been concerned about the M25 car park so we left in plenty of time only to find (of course) that there was no traffic and our journey time was only an hour or so. We dumped the fancy car and checked in about 5 hours early but we have got on an earlier flight which means that we have more time at Dubai (unless there’s another earlier one!!).

The G busy researching stuff on the iPad in the Emirates lounge

So now it is head down and bum up as we enter the travelling processes.

Day 22 - In the footsteps of Consuelo

Consuelo Vanderbilt had a pretty hard time of it. “Consuelo and Alva Vanderbilt: The Story of a Mother and a Daughter in the Gilded Age” by Amanda Mackenzie Stuart tells the story. I had read this a year or so ago. The 9^th Duke of Marlborough inherited an estate that was nearly bankrupt. Social mores of the day meant that he could not work. The only way he could get money was to marry it. Alva Vanderbilt, who was separated from her husband, thought it would be a jolly good wheeze if her daughter Consuelo became a duchess. The only way to do that was to marry a duke. I recall from the book that the competition between society ladies in New York at the end of the 19^th century was intense. Alva needed to outdo everyone else and Consuelo was the weapon of choice.

The 9^th Duke got about $2.5m (equivalent to about $70m today) and the couple each got $100,000 a year for life. These are massive sums by any stretch. On the day of the marriage it is said that Consuelo had to be dragged to the altar, tears streaming down her face. And it was no Downton Abbey happy ending marriage although Consuelo did her marital duty and produce an heir. They separated after 12 years with the Duke eventually marrying his long-time lover (and friend of Consuelo) Gladys Deacon. The marriage was not particularly happy. Consuelo married Jacques Balsan who sounds like a really interesting character and they were very happy. He was a record-breaking pioneer French balloon, airplane, and hydroplane pilot who once worked with the Wright Brothers. His brother was a lover of Coco Chanel.

I tell you all this because today we are going with my parents to Blenheim Palace which is the seat of the (now 11^th) Duke of Marlborough. That Blenheim Palace is still habitable is due to the 9^th Duke’s unhappy marriage to Consuelo.

We slept like logs last night – at least 9 hours. Holidaying is good therapy but I have to say we are both looking forward to being back home again. The weather looked set fair and proved so to be. We have cracked the satnav in the fancy Mercedes CLS350 so we set off to collect a pair of parents and drive to Oxfordshire avoiding motorways and ferries.

The Beast - a lovely design, comfortable, quiet and quick but with so many bells and whistles that you feel a technological incompetent at the hands of this car

We're staying here at Pastures Farm which is in a lovely location with lovely hosts. Why do people stay in hotels? And the eggs for breakfast are fresh from the bottom of a chicken that roams out back

Looking down the drive into Pastures Farm. I am a farming ignoramus so I do not know what crop has been a-gathered in from the field on the right

Our route took us across country from Northamptonshire and into Oxfordshire. These are roads that I have driven many times. Coming out of Northampton you travel roughly south west passing Towcester and crossing Watling Street. Watling Street is the name given to an ancient trackway in England and Wales that was first used by the Britons mainly between the modern cities of Canterbury and St Albans. The Romans later paved the route and now it is called the A5. From Towcester it is stone's throw to Silverstone. One travels on through Ardley and Middleton Stoney - both places I remember but which will mean nothing to you - and Kirtlington (where I stopped to post some post cards) and then to Woodstock which is where one finds Blenheim Palace. This, of course, is the other Woodstock - not  the famous 1968 festival Woodstock!!

The Oxford countryside is beautiful. We drove through avenues of trees that are changing colour almost as we watched them

The Old Man has a disabled sticker thingy so we parked pretty much at the front gates!!

The Duke was clearly at home and had left his car next to ours - a Ferrari FF 6.3 litre V12, 0 - 100kph in 3.4 seconds. That's quicker than the TVR

I am not going to bang on about Blenheim Palace and why it's there. It's a simple story. The first Duke of Marlborough (his name was John Churchill) was aprofessional soldier. His wife, Sarah (neé Jennings) was very friendly with Queen Anne and she pretty much got him the Dukedom. But the Dukedom didn't come for nothing. The great man had been the Captain-General of the Grand Alliance forces (of which England was a member) at the Battle of Blenheim which happened on 13 August 1704. The issue was between the Grand Alliance and France about who would succeed to the Spanish throne. Basically we won so John Churchill was a hero. A grateful sovereign rewarded him with 2,000 acres of land at Woodstock and a grateful country rewarded him with the equivalent of about £20,000,000. He used this to build Blenheim Palace.

As it happened he died before it was finished and Sarah ended up finishing it to the original specifications. It is the only non-royal, non-ecclesiastical (even non-episcopalean) residence in Britain to be called a palace. Not only that, the Duke's title is the only English title that can descend through the female line.

And if you want to know any more you will need to look it up. It's worth looking up because it's all really interesting. And for the prurient, I believe it highly unlikely that Queen Anne and Sarah, Duchess of Marlborough were anything other than good friends (until they fell out that is).

The east wing from the front door

What a front door!! The whole thing is so completely over-the-top it's not true!

Apart from the 1st Duke, the other famous son of Blenheim was Winston Churchill, Britain's prime minister for most of the Second World War. He was born at Blenheim prematurely and by accident. His parents had been attending a function there and his pregnant mother tripped, went into labour and Winston was born 6 weeks prematurely. His father was the third son of the  7^th  Duke of Marlborough so the 8^th Duke was his uncle.

There was a Churchill exhibition which I think my parents enjoyed enormously as they are of a generation for whom Churchill was close to being a hero. Recent historical assessment has been slightly more balanced - he was after all a human being - but he was a remarkable man.

Winston Churchill: Bottlescape. I thought this was a great name for a picture. There were several of Winston Churchill's paintings there and all were remarkably good. Whatever his failings may have been (and Roy Jenkins' book "Churchill" is an honest appraisal) he was a talented fellow

My imagination was piqued by the minute that Churchill handwrote to Alexander in 1942 telling him to kick Rommel out of Africa. This "most secret" minute reads:

"1 Your prime and main duty will be to take or destroy at the earliest opportunity the German-Italian Army commanded by Field Marshal Rommel together with all its supplies and establishments in Egypt and Libya.

"2 You will discharge or cause to be discharged such other duties as pertain to your Command without prejudice to the task described in paragraph 1 which must be considered paramount in His Majesty’s interests."

It is written while Churchill was in Cairo and I was left wondering whether he just called for a piece of embassy paper and wrote it straight out - such was the urgency of the North African threat.

At any event Alexander was able to reply:

"Sir
"The orders you gave me on Aug 15 1942 have been fulfilled. His Majesty’s enemies, together with their impedimenta have been completely eliminated from Egypt. Cyrenaica, Linya and Tripolitania. I now await your further instructions."

There were plenty of people willing to take this success away from Alexander notably Montgomery and Alexander went on to have his challenges with Patton (who was his subordinate).

Churchill's handwritten instructions to Alexander to kick Rommel out of North Africa

Of course as we all know Churchill lost the general election of 1945. That election was the first for ten years and the country and its mood and changed significantly.

Election poster for Churchill

But, back to Blenheim: here are a few pictures that I took.

A table centrepiece. This had no function other than to sit in the middle of the table and look cool. Made of silver it weighs 50 kilos

A table setting of which even The G approved. The dining room was huge and would be bloody nippy in the winter

These pieces are by the Chinese artist Ai Wei Wei. He has an exhibition in the palace. Some of his pieces are placed alongside the 17th century artefacts with the sort of contrasting and arresting effect you can imagine

The first Duchess of Marlborough (Sarah) was best buddies with Queen Anne. They fell out when the Whigs fell from power in 1708. Of course it's a bit more complicated than that but this is not a history blog

More opulence

There is a chapel (of course) with this pulpit. Were the rope not across the stairs I would have delivered an appropriate sermon

The West Terrace Cafe is on the ground floor of this wing. We lunched there but did not see the Duke

Many readers will know that I have constructed raised beds at home. There were a set of raised beds (pictured above) that were the mothers of all raised beds. This was a lavender bed and The G and my Mother were spotted liberating small sprigs for experimental purposes

We went off to look at the Butterfly House which, not surprisingly, is awash with butterflies. 

A butterfly that looks like a leaf - really amazing. Perhaps it has a name but I do not know it

This yellow and black butterfly looked good against the orange blooms

Here is another cool dude of a butterfly

And here is a short movie of a butterfly in action.

I don't know why I found this interesting but I did. It's the garden wall and it's covered in indentations that look like bullet holes. In fact the walls were covered with espaliered fruit trees that were supported by nails driven into the wall

We drove home safely and accurately courtesy of the satnav in the Mercedes. The car is a delight to drive but - and maybe I am after all a Luddite - has too much widgetry for me!!

We supped with my parents. We shared the bottle of this year's Battle of Bosworth Shiraz that we had brought over for my father. It is a fine young and eminently drinkable wine - so good in fact that my mother drank a whole glass, a feat which I cannot recall in all my life. Usually she drinks nothing.

We have one more day before we fly out tomorrow so today we go in search of another of my heroes: Alan Turing. We are going to visit Blethcley Park (www.bletchleypark.org.uk).

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